Importance of Communication in Relationships

David Lowe 0:00

Relationships are built on communication , and when communication ends , so does the relationship Stay tuned .

Grace Lupoi 0:18

Welcome to Prepare to Win . I'm Grace Lupoi, and and I'm here with David Lowe , and you just said that relationships thrive and kind of die based off that communication . They do Right . What do you mean by that ?

David Lowe 0:28

Pretty strong statement , isn't it ? Yes ? Well , with communications , relationships are built , and without communication , then obviously relationships die . And so we're , you know , in this whole podcast , every episode we're doing , we really want to focus on the principles that drive excellence into our life , not just our business life , but our personal life as well . So let's kind of talk about we have both these relationships personal relationships and we have business relationships , right , have business relationships right Now .

David Lowe 1:06

I think this kind of came before the forefront when we were talking about that . We talk to salesmen all the time about relationship with the buyer . In fact , that's our selling system , right ? We believe that when a buyer feels known , understood and valued , they will value us , they'll want to do business with us , right ? So it's less about selling the product and more about understanding how the product's going to affect our people's lives . Right , we've done a lot of episodes and talking over these weeks about value , and we've talked about asking good questions . We've talked about creating great conversations . What we've always really been talking about is building that relationship and trust through good communication , right , and so this came about .

David Lowe 1:53

This episode came about us talking about how important we got lease renewals coming due . How important is that relationship . They get a car . We sit down . How you doing ? How can I help you ? I can help you with that , right . Thank you for choosing us . How did you hear about ? We ask those what got you interested ? We ask what's important to you . We ask tell us your story . Are you adding to replacing ? Why do you decide to do it now ? We build relationship through asking and then when we show the car , we demonstrate hey , who's going to sit in the back ? Right ? We build relationship through this great communication and then we take them to service . I've got your back . I never want you to go anywhere else . I want to be your car . We build relationship through communication . Then we sell the car and what's supposed to happen is we maintain the relationship , do something called follow-up , right , and that goes on for true or false right . Okay now , um , we know , and we've done discussions about it , we'll do more about it follow-up . We talk to salespeople and they say , um , the number one thing they could do better is follow right , and it's really quite common to have the best intentions to follow up but not do a very good job . New car they take delivery of a new car . We do that . Csi follow-up . We got the great score . Not a lot of salesmen are calling it and thanking them for the great score . In fact , when I mentioned always call your customer and thank them for giving you a great CSI score Lots of them that's a great idea , so we haven't been doing it .

David Lowe 3:31

And then , if you look at a system and say , let's look at this very valued customer , our communication over the last three years , and we might say , woo , how is that relationship ? I haven't talked to them in two years or three years and we might say , whoo , how is that relationship ? Right , I haven't talked to them in two years or three years , right ? So they're coming back for a lease renewal . We built a relationship to help them get into the car . Their lease is coming due . They're trying to decide what do I do ? Should I keep it ? Should I get a new one ? Should I go back to that ? What do I want to do ? And all of a sudden , we're picking up the phone and acting like we're their best friends and we haven't talked to them . The relationship really has died because we haven't communicated , and now you can rebuild it .

David Lowe 4:16

Salesmen are really good at quickly doing that . I do believe , though , it's so much stronger if it would have been maintained . You know what I mean . And then you have customers getting hold of you . You know what I mean , right ? And then you have customers getting hold of you hey , my lease is coming due . What do you think I should do ? That relationship turns into trust and anyway .

David Lowe 4:33

So we were talking about that , as we see a lot of leases come and due right now and we want to capitalize on that opportunity and we talk about we always tell a salesman about it and then we said what about ourselves ? Right ? And so I had a friend that really haven't been engaged with for a long time and I'm not sure if it was his fault or my fault , I don't know why and so , out of the blue , I just texted him and said hey , you want to work out next week together ? We did it every once in a while before . It was a great time to get to have a quick breakfast . It doesn't take much and sure enough , we worked out . We had a great time together and he thanked me for thinking of him and reaching out , and I was so blessed .

David Lowe 5:16

Through the time I just reminded how intentional we have to be . It's just so easy to not do it . You know what . It's just as easy to do it and we need to do that . So I don't care if it's a professional relationship or a personal relationship . We know when we stop talking that we start falling apart . Right , they say a lot of marriages break up over communication . Right , we don't , we just don't talk anymore , right , whatever , since the kids have been gone , we got nothing to talk about , or whatever the case is . And so if you want strong relationships in life and in business , it requires communication now .

David Lowe 6:00

But life is busy , let's face it is , and we've got a lot going on . I think we have more input than ever before . I heard a study and I'm going to hack it up , but the song remains the same . I wish I had wrote down the details , but I think that we now get exposed to more information in a week than most people got exposed to 100 years ago in their whole lifetime . And at first it sounds super . I'm like , is that true ? But then you think about it , right ? I think about my morning read online . How much information I get , versus the guy going and getting a corner paper in his town 100 years ago , right , right ? And so we have the stuff coming at us at 1,000 miles an hour .

David Lowe 6:50

If you're in the car , business boy , your life is really complicated . A new car now ? How many websites do you have to maintain ? How much input with the manufacturer ? There's so much happening . We're so busy , so much is coming out , and so we found that , as information flows and as I don't know , things we have to do is increase . The speed of life is increased . Relationships have altered , so we're going to have to make a decision . Are relationships important to me , right ? And if they are , what can I do to maintain them right Right Now . That same technology that's burying you could be a benefit to connecting .

Grace Lupoi 7:33

It could .

David Lowe 7:34

Right . So I remember when I was a kid you want to call your friends to get at the baseball field . In the summer we don't have school , so everybody's scattered throughout the neighborhood If you wanted to play . We wanted to get down at the park and play baseball . We had a phone chain , right . So you call , I called Kevin , kevin called right , and so we split . Everybody called and , sure enough , an hour later there's 12 kids down on the playground and we're ready to play ball . That kind of communication .

David Lowe 8:03

But now we have so many other ways to communicate text and messenger and stuff like that even quicker ways . Then it was a landline phone that people had to be home to get it . Now people are carrying their phone everywhere they go . So if you want to improve your communication , the technology is your friend too . It might be hurting us in a lot of ways , but it's also there to be a benefit to us . So I think , Grace , you go to a lot of dealerships and salespeople . We teach a regimented follow-up , right , right . So let's talk about salesman sells a car . They don't want to sell them one car , they want to sell them what .

Grace Lupoi 8:44

All of them .

David Lowe 8:44

Yeah , and do they have other cars in the household ? Right ? So we talk about this regular 3-3 , you know 3-33 thing . Let's go over that , yeah .

Grace Lupoi 8:54

And I think again , like you said , if we are communicating with our customers or with anybody , that relationship can stay strong , that's right , and if we don't , it falls to the wayside . It does so that 333 is three times in the first 30 days . Check up on them . How are things going ? Ask those good questions .

David Lowe 9:12

Yeah .

Grace Lupoi 9:13

And that again is part of that communication , of actively listening , asking good questions .

David Lowe 9:18

Same style of communication . Exactly , you're important to me , and so I'm not just talking , I'm asking good questions and listening .

Grace Lupoi 9:24

Now just checking off a task .

David Lowe 9:26

Oh .

Grace Lupoi 9:26

I completed that . I made the phone call , I left a voicemail . Talk to them three times in that first 30 days and then three times the rest of the year . Stay in communication . I don't know if there was a commercial I think it was maybe a Toyota commercial and these two girls were at a movie together two friends and she comes into the movie late . She's like , oh yeah , sorry , I was on the phone with my car salesman . I'm like what do you mean ?

Grace Lupoi 9:50

And it's that idea of follow-up we want to be in communication with people , and more so than just that text or that message or that DM on Instagram or whatever it is . That communication face-to-face or on the phone is important , and we can do that as a sales consultant to our customers and make them feel like , wow , it was not just a transaction . What power does that have to that individual and anyone else that they are in contact with ?

David Lowe 10:11

Yeah , I remember that commercial . It was so shocking your salesman called you . I thought you already bought a car .

Grace Lupoi 10:18

I did , he was just checking up on right .

David Lowe 10:19

Yeah , very shocking . I think Troy's message was we care , we'll call you back , right , and I think that should be the standard . I think there's a survey out that says over 90% of people buy a car , can't remember the salesman's name a year later Kind of sad .

David Lowe 10:38

Now we know there's also massive turnover , lack of training , lack of leadership in our industry . I think that's we're trying to change that almost sales coach . We want to change that . We believe this is the best kept career secret out there and we're trying to help dealerships build career minded , driven professionals . And for you , if you're that career minded , driven professional , just living with excellence requires doing a great job Right . And part of that great job step 12 , follow-up that , recycling the 333 , finding a way to get in front of them .

David Lowe 11:10

We give a bunch of ideas Doesn't mean you have to do those . We just give success models . But the phone , the birthday card that you know when you see them in for service . Go have a cup of coffee . There's so many different ways . If you want to do it , have a cup of coffee . There's so many different ways if you want to do it right . So are relationships important to you ? So right now we're talking about business relationships . Are your business relationships important to you and if so , what are you doing to keep them alive and strong ? Right Now it's about personal relation .

David Lowe 11:43

Are your personal relationships

Importance of Communication in Relationships

David Lowe 11:45

important to you . Now can I tell you I think there might be a problem of having too many friends . Look at your Facebook . I've got 1,500 friends . The truth is I've never met 1,400 of them Somewhere down the line . They're not really friends . And then if you've got your birthday down there , people you never talk to are like happy birthday . I don't know .

David Lowe 12:09

I don't know I don't value that personally , because I think it's kind of cool that people are saying happy birthday , don't get me wrong . It's just that I don't know that that's really a friend of somebody that I'm probably not just met one time . It's probably somebody that I want to be able to communicate with and connect with , maybe even count on if I need it . You know what I mean , right ? And so how many of those people are people you want to engage with ? Because I can't try to engage with 1,500 regularly . It's not going to be , it's not going to work . But I have people . In fact , I'm thinking right now . A friend called me last week . I talked to him a couple times a year . He's been very valuable in my life . I bet I see him once a year . I've known him for seven or eight years and he called me last week just to say hey , and I'm like that's so nice , I'm going to call him back and I haven't called him back yet .

David Lowe 13:05

Right , and so I will . He's on my list to do and I will , but life has been busy . I value his relationship . I'm not going to let that fall to the ground . I haven't done a great job in responding and I don't think we have to be perfect to be excellent . Right , I mean I'm going to talk to him because I want to and I appreciate his follow-up , I appreciate his friendship , but I think we have to make a decision , kind of who's important to us and how do I show them that ? Right , so we talk about a few things . So relationships die without communication .

David Lowe 13:38

If you want to build your bank of excited , loyal , lifetime customers , you don't just want to sell them a car , you want to make them a friend through communication . Right , ongoing three times a year , right , personal relationship the people you want to surround yourself , the people that you think you're a benefit to or a benefit to you , like this friend that I was with . When I'm with them , I always leave a little better , right ? Some people you might be with you leave a little . I don't know if I want to do this . You got to be discerning , right ? The Bible says if you hang out with an angry man , you become angry yourself . I got to be discerning right . The Bible says if you hang out with an angry man , you become angry yourself . I want to be discerning who my friends are going to be , who I draw close , and then I might want to be proactive and a text is a great way . Hey , Grace , just thinking about you today Hope you're going to have a great day . I sent a bunch of those in my life and I've had so many people say I can't believe you sent that today . I really needed to hear from whatever . It's weird . So I think if you spend you know we always talk about that morning time , that preparation , planning and solitude If you spend some time every day , kind of in quiet , I think , I think you'll be given from your subconscious things you should do . Thoughts are things . Think and Grow Rich taught us . Thoughts are things . If it enters your mind , I should call this person , call them , send them a text , reach out to them , meet them for lunch , work out or it could be like you said , it could be as quick as a text , but I think that relationships die without communication . Then , of course , in the house , how easy is it to ignore our most or closest people in our life .

David Lowe 15:24

I think we work all day as a salesman . We communicate all day . You know we're out there all day , we're on the phone all day . Sometimes we get home and we just want to shut off and then maybe at home is somebody who's been helping us do what we do by doing taking care of the home . They haven't been engaged all day . They may want to do a little bit of engagement . So we may have to put others first . In some of those times when we don't feel like engaging , maybe we have to engage and I've had a lot of times like the neighbors are out and I should go over and I don't feel like it , I'm tired , and then we'll go over and I come home really refreshed and energized . I think when we reach out to others , you know , a generous person prospers . Solomon says One who refreshes others will himself be refreshed .

David Lowe 16:16

So I guess the message of today's podcast episode is what Communication ? Communication builds relationships . Lack of communication destroys them . Like all our episodes , I think we're trying to make everybody more mindful of things that you know are true , but maybe not living . I don't know if we've ever said anything that people say well , I never knew that was true . I mean , we're talking about principles that are , you know , pretty much obvious in nature if we would just slow down and observe , and so our episodes are designed for you to slow down , observe , take a look at a principle and maybe some updated techniques on how to live that principle and make your life more full right . Our real goal , of course , is joy , peace and satisfaction , and I don't know how you could live a life of joy , peace and satisfaction in solitude , right , right , it's really hard . We were made to be with people , and if we're going to be with people , communication is key .

Grace Lupoi 17:17

As iron sharpens iron .

David Lowe 17:19

Iron sharpens iron . So this week , what are you going to do to be a better communicator ? If you're at a sale at a dealership , don't worry about what you haven't done . Start doing what you know you should do . And maybe don't start back five years ago . Maybe start with last month and work your way back . We're going to do an episode on sold follow-up and unsold follow-up . To get more detail . We'll give you more instruction on that . If you're a Playbook subscriber , you can go right into our core training to follow up and get that instruction now .

David Lowe 17:50

But listen , start small , start with something . Sometimes you look at it and say , well , I haven't talked to this many people . Where do I start ? Just start where you're at . So maybe , if , if it's , if it's the end of March , go back and talk to everybody from February , right ? So if you're in the sales game , that's a good way to reconnect and then start working every month , work another month back , do your current month and a month back and and month back and pretty soon you'll be caught up and you'll have

Build Relationships, Do the Right Thing

David Lowe 18:17

a bunch of relations .

David Lowe 18:17

And don't be surprised if you don't have customers sending in friends and relatives or coming back themselves to do business with . Don't be surprised if doing the right thing doesn't create the right result . And then , on a personal note , maybe you should write down 10 people that are important to you that you don't see on a regular basis , maybe just sit down and jotting their names down and saying you know what these people are important to me and I haven't been intentional , and so we want to make you mindful of these things and remember there's things you can do , simple things you can do . You don't need us for that , but we want to remind you and partner with you to say we all know we could do a better job . Let's do it Right .

Grace Lupoi 19:00

Absolutely All right .

David Lowe 19:01

Until the next episode , good selling and good living .